Wally the Street Squirrel/Episode 6/Altered Fates

This is one of the cartoons I've been doing at home. At least I hope the younger ones missed the TV broadcasts. 3:00 pm It is getting harder and harder to edit my image here because the link pastes over dozens of lines of my page code. Anyway, I cleaned off that confusing mark in the text box. Sorry for missing it on the first post.
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© 2017. Words and images by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Wally the Street Squirrel/Episode 5/Rapid Head Movement

I still have a few more ideas for this character.
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Wally the Street Squirrel/Episode 4/Wally and the Bandits

Here's another Wally. Looks like another reconstructed one. I still like drawing it because it lets me work on animals. I work hard on these cartoons so anyone who steals them is a total stinker who deserves no pity when he's caught. As for me, when I close my eyes to sleep, all I see are couples.
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Boob Tube Brain

Ten-year-old Milton Dunsmuir loved watching television. (A living room. Expressionless, Milton watches a TV program as his teen-aged brother Morton stands on the perimeter.) Morton: Didn't you already see that one? Milton: Yeah, but I wasn't paying attention. His unorthodox curriculum developed new areas of his brain. (The living room. Expressionless, the Dunsmuir brothers sit on the couch and watch a TV program.) Morton: Darn! Why do they always cut it off in the middle of a good scene like that? Milton: Gee but I love my ... G-W-G's ... Morton: What the hell? TV: And now for a word from our sponsor... Gee but I love my... During a crisis, his power was undeniable. (Expressionless, Milton watches TV with Morton and Morton's friend when the power goes out.) Friend: Aw! Right before the climax! Morton: Don't worry about it. Milton, you're up! Milton: (having taken position in front of the set with a flashlight in his face) Holy vats filled with sulfuric acid, Batman! How are we gonna get out of this one? (The others sigh with relief.) Don't worry, Robin. As usual, they forgot to strip us of our utility belts. Did you remember to pack your bat trampoline? The coma must go on with Milton Dunsmuir, the Boob Tube Brain.
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Inside Scoop

Today we're going to talk about how to make it big in show business. Ever since the internet came along, there has been growing confusion about this. Those web stars are not rich enough to trust with information on this topic. We have all the money and you should reject them and only heed our advice if you want to be successful. We know that many of you want to be stars so you can have power and money and be able to impress your friends, but you may think you lack sufficient talent. You should know that talent is the last thing that concerns us when we look for someone to fill a spot in our broadcasting schedule. We abandoned talent a long time ago because artists cause too many complications by being too focused on the quality of their work, rather than on profits. An artist will reject his hit song if he thinks it's substandard but people with no talent will perform anything. We find the untalented much easier to work with, so if you have no talent, consider it an asset. Image is paramount. We need our stars to conform to a common image which fits neatly into the trends of the moment. Right now, for instance, we want men to shave their heads like psychiatric patients. It's the hip new look and our way of bidding goodbye to the rebellious 1970's forever. Aside from that, a youthful image is always best because we target the youth population with our broadcasts and we want to look like we are appealing to them from within their own ranks, even though most of us are middle aged parents. If you are over twenty-five, forget it, we can't help you: you're too old. Just hang up that guitar and don't bother sharing anything new. If you do, we'll only steal it and give it to someone younger, who better fits this important image requirement for new stars. On the other hand, old stars can afford plastic surgery. Do you have an opinion? Do you feel strongly about certain issues? Keep it to yourself. It only separates you from the mainstream consumers who might otherwise spend their money on you. We find that people of low or mediocre intelligence do this naturally while those with above average intelligence have problems with it. Most of our stars don't have IQ's too far over 100 for that reason. So if you're not that bright but you're good at oral reading, here's a chance for you to get revenge on those teachers of yours for holding your denseness against you. You can be like that glorious U.S. president who boasted of his scholastic C average after he got elected. That takes us to our last and most important condition for stardom, dishonesty. Are you willing to lie for us? People trust stars more than they trust politicians, so we can't afford to put anyone in the limelight who won't toe the mass manipulating line with us and support our lies when we broadcast them to the world. We think this is only fair. After all, if you don't want to lie for us, why should we tell everyone that you're talented and substantial and intelligent and honest when we know that the opposite is true? So that's our Inside Scoop for today. And as they say in show biz, 'break an egg!'
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Light of Truth

Good day, my brothers and sisters, and welcome to another illuminating broadcast of Light of Truth. I'm Barry Caldwell. How do we validate gospel truth? We do so by a somewhat intuitive process that flies in the face of the empirical one favored by our courts of justice. This is because God has His own way of thinking and tends to act outside the confines of our puny logic. Take the Holy Trinity, for example. It consists of three distinctly separate persons of God which together make One person. To us, three and one are separate numbers, but to God, they are the same. As rational beings, our first impulse may be to reject this as pure nonsense, but let's not forget Who invented the universe and everything in it. If the One who created mathematics says three is one, who are we to argue with Him? How does God impart His Word? Here again we see a contradiction of our conventional methods of mass communications. God only reveals Himself to isolated individuals. Moses was all alone on that mountain when he received the ten commandments around which all our laws have since been structured. Aside from his oddly shining countenance, his fellow Israelites had no way of telling that he'd had direct contact with the Almighty. And whence did Christ gain His miraculous insights but from a solitary stay in the harsh desert? Our ancient forbears were less skeptical about holy encounters because they had less science and more magic back in their time. When they saw a hermit returning from a mountain or a desert with far-fetched tales of providential encounters, they believed him - especially since no such thing ever happened in front of a crowd. How do we summarize this? Very simply, when the answer to a question poses an even greater riddle, we rely on faith to fill in the blanks for us, and it is by this faith that we may ultimately be saved. And that's it for today's Light of Truth. I hope you won't let the power of darkness overtake you too much this Friday evening. Until our next broadcast, I'm Barry Caldwell saying, don't forget: the less sense it makes to us, the more sense it makes to God.
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Trust Fund Tracy

Tracy always had the money. (A street corner. A car pulls over for a familiar pedestrian.) Driver: Hey, Tracy, want to go for a drive downtown? Tracy: That sounds like a nice idea. Driver: Great! Hop in! (She takes the passenger seat.) I'm a little low on gas, though... Tracy: (rolling eyes) That's all right, I can take care of it. She offered her friends every convenience. (Tracy's dorm. She sits at a table with friends when one of them gets up to leave.) Friend: Does anyone want anything from the corner store? Tracy: I'm fine, thanks. Friend: Are you sure you couldn't use a snack? Maybe chips and pop or something? (The suggestion is eagerly supported by the others.) Tracy: Well, if you all want it, I guess I can join you. Friend: (checking purse) Oh oh, looks like I'm a little short... Tracy: (rolling eyes and sighing) That's all right, I can take care of it. But deep down, she longed to be delivered from her condition. (Tracy chats with Stacy by the front door.) Stacy: (holding magazine open for Tracy) It's this one here. Isn't it great? Tracy: Yes, it's very nice. I wouldn't mind one of those, myself. Stacy: You can use mine whenever you like. Tracy: I can? Why, thank you, Stacy! That means a lot to me. Stacy: Don't mention it. Friends help each other out, right? Well, I better get to my yoga class. See you later. Tracy: Bye. (Exit Stacy. Tracy is about to turn for the stairs when she is summoned back to answer a knock on the door.) Yes? Courier: I have a COD parcel for someone named Stacy at this address... Finding her trust put to the test, she's Trust Fund Tracy!
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