Sunday, March 26, 2017

Shirley Sureloins (Theatre of the Ribald)

Shirley Sureloins (Theatre of the Ribald)
We never needed Saturday Night Live to spoon feed this joke to us from the TV. It did not improve your life one bit but it improved their lives immensely.

(I changed this character's first name last night to pair it off with her last name. I'll move it in the scripts index accordingly.)

Shirley Sureloins was a shoplifter with a diabolical command of illusion.

(A music store. Exit Sureloins in a dress.)

Salesman: Hey, where did that microphone go?

Shoplifting was the only way she could support her gambling addiction.

(A casino poker game.)

Dealer: (to Sureloins) I don't know how you keep your pile of chips so high when you lose so many hands.

It was inevitable that her intimate secret would interfere with her relationships.

(Sureloins with her boyfriend in bed.)

Boyfriend: (Struggling) There's something in the way. Wait a minute. (He reaches under the blankets and pulls out a roll of quarters.) Look at that! Cha-ching! I guess it's my lucky day!

Sureloins: Hand it over.

Boyfriend: Why? I found it! (They fight.)

The lines of ownership are sure to be blurred by Shirley Sureloins, tonight on Theatre of the Ribald.
  
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© 2007, 2017. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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