Monday, April 24, 2017

Cerebral Chorus

Cerebral Chorus
Good afternoon, fellow sky pilots. Heady Eddy here, hoping all is well in each of your universes as I open the portal to my musical mind and share some crazy new sounds here on Cerebral Chorus.

For the last week or so I've had this awesome instrumental in my brain. Can you hear it? (Silence.) Its overall structure is extremely simple, consisting of only four basic guitar chords repeating in 4/4 time with a marching rhythm on the snare. The bass drones out the tonic underneath it - you know what I'm talking about, right? Then, just when you think you can predict the next note, in comes the crashing chords of a grand piano! Can you hear it? (Silence.) I haven't heard a piano sound that mighty since 1974. And that's not all. Are you ready for the next measure? Look out, it's a whole string section! (Eyes closed, face contorted with ecstasy) That - is - sublime. Now I see why it sounded so simple at first, so there's room on top for all this majesty. (Moving head up and down) It sounds so full, couldn't you listen to this all day? But what's this? A trumpet! A powerful trumpet blasting out a complimentary phrase over everything! Can you hear it? (Silence.) Wow, this must be some glorious message from the angels! I've never heard God's existence argued so convincingly. That must be as far as it can be developed, though. Otherwise, it might start to sound cluttered. Oh well, all good things must come to a fade out. But wait, it sounds like the bass line has changed! (After pausing to check) Yes, it's expanded to cover all four root notes of the chord progression! Man, that's so uplifting! I never knew music could be this great! (Gasping) Oh oh, I think I'm getting overstimulated from this. No! Not the tubular bells! It's too brilliant! I can't handle it, it's blowing my mind! (Succumbing to grunts and spasms) I think I'm gonna have to pull the plug on this one now. Sorry. (He tugs an imaginary chord and sighs with relief.)

Well, after an intense experience like that, it's good to unwind with a little cool jazz. Let's start with another simple chord progression. You got it? (Silence.) Good. Now change all the chords to diminished minor sevenths. Are you still with me? Good. Now can you hear that whistling? (Silence.) Someone's whistling a pretty little tune over the minor sevenths. He's using portamento to slide between the opening two half notes. Nice. Only jazz could make whistling sound this good. And there's another instrument doubling up on the whistling lead. What is that? (After pausing to listen) Of course! A xylophone! And it's pounding out sixteenths where the whistled notes are sustained! That is so relaxing! I'm telling you, this kind of music would let you stay calm through an earthquake. (The whole studio starts to shake violently.) After all, we've known all along that we are helpless against the awesome power of nature. Why panic over it? (An iron girder crashes down next to him, snapping him out of his trance.) Well, I guess I better get under my door frame now, but I hope you enjoyed the program. (Another falling object prompts him to rush.) For Cerebral Chorus, I'm Heady Eddy reminding you that there is no better musical instrument than your own imagination. (Fleeing for cover.) Mayday! Mayday!
  
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© 2007, 2017. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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