THC Medicated Chewing Gum

(A film production. Stan the stagehand trips on a wire and collapses an elaborate backdrop.) Supervisor: There goes four hours of setup time! Damn it, Stan, I thought you said you quit smoking marijuana. Stan: I know. I really tried but I couldn't make it past the jonesin'. Supervisor: Well, here, (handing Stan a pack of gum) try this. I'd love to fire you but we can't find any other loser to come here and do your job for your hourly rate. Stan: (Popping a gum into his mouth and smacking it loudly.) Hey, I'm starting to feel normal again. (His eyes turn into Christmas trees.) Are you jonesin? Experts say that substances like marijuana, which are widely known to not be physically addictive, are much harder to quit because users aren't worried about using them. That's why you may need Tetra-Hydra Chewables. From the resourceful makers of Nicorrect, with our gum in your mouth, the last thing you'll crave is another splif. (The production an hour later. The whole set has been demolished as rescuers hear the smacking of chewing gum under a pile of rubble.) Chew up your cravings with THC.
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© 2007, 2017. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.