The Balogne Bulletin

This is my twentieth script since last month. An emaciated hunger striker says he still has enough vitamins to keep him going after three and a half weeks of refusing his meals. Campaigning for artists' rights, he is expected to drop dead at some point in the next seventy-two hours. Elsewhere around the dinner table, the results of a medical program that treated anorexics with marijuana are inconclusive. While the drug improved patients' appetites, it tended to only be for hash brownies. Ladies' gymnastics may have led to the fall of Rome. So says a professor of sexology from the Institute for Tantric Studies. He thinks that balance beam routines featuring the splits triggered an ultimately ruinous mass euphoria. A spill from the chemical plant has made crows extra protective of their young this spring. Citizens are advised to wear helmets and carry a loaded air gun. Buggy pushers should also prepare for possible retaliatory air raids. And popular recording artists AM/PM released a big new poster today. The dimensions needed to cover over their rival's name the Nude Photographers is expected to conceal some smaller store entrances.
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© 2017. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.